P-E to the T-T-Y petty yea yea you're petty all the time!

I know how it is. You are scrolling through Insta and see that girl. The one with the eyebrows. You think to yourself "Ugh, she is so annoying. Never even met her, why is she such a dumb slut? *ScreenShots* wait until I send this to my friend."

And the whole time it is your friends boyfriends ex's sister who talks shit about your friend on Facebook that one time 4 months ago in the comments of someone else's post you were stalking.

You, my dear, are petty. Its ok. We all are sometimes. 

You might be petty, if you see your friends boyfriend like a post of some girl you hate, and screenshot it to show her.

You might be petty, if you see people in Walmart and know everything about them and they do not even have a clue who you are.

You might be petty, if you hate someone because your friend does. This applies to groups of girls, if one of them hates you...that is it. They all do. #petty (No matter how they smile in your face. They are simply doing recon on your stupid ass to report back to the squad. Guarantee.)

You might be petty, if you lay in your bed and think about what your man did 4 months 3 days and 27 minutes ago and get so mad you literally "can't even".

You might be petty if you have a problem with someone, and know a girl you can ask "whats the dirt on so and so" and get accurate, immediate responses.

You might be petty if people have a problem with someone, and ask you "whats the dirt on so and so" and you provide accurate, immediate responses, regardless of having actually met the person.

You might be petty, if you purposely eavesdrop on your neighbors when they fight, just to be nosey.

You might be petty, if one of your friends has issues with someone, and you don't even know the person but will creep 2 years back on their Facebook.

You might be petty, if you see drama on social media, even if it has nothing to do with you, and tag your friends in the comments to read it.

You might be petty, if you troll the thirsty guy in your inbox until he sends you a penis pic, then send him a more photogenic penis and screenshot his responses to show your friends.

You might be petty, if you have ever had a friend who does not know the guy you like add him, message him, and then you got mad that he replied and you both call him out.

You might be petty, if you have ever gone off on someone for something trivial....bonus petty points if you tag your friends to have your back.....super petty points if said friends join in without you asking.

You might be petty, if you just greatly dislike someone living in another state because of what they did to your friend 2 years ago.

You might be petty, if you have ever talked to a guy and lead him into an awkward conversation just to get funny screenshots to spice up the group chat.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST....you MIGHT be petty, if the thought of a group of beautiful, smart, ferocious women talking in secret about who they like and dislike, pisses you off.

These are just some examples though....hypothetical situations of course.  My point is, instead of fearing this elite bitch squad, just be glad they do it in secret. If they ever unleashed on the public world, it would be pettygeddon.

These activities, while trivial, are bonding.  Detective work shows dedication to the team.  Going off on your girls' enemies shows loyalty. These "petty bitches" everyone keep talking about but can't ever find....have a sort of sorority like group. A family. A petty, beautiful, dangerous family.  #squad