It must be nice. You get to do whatever you want. You do not have to stress about parental worries. It must be so nice.
I sit here, planning my grocery list for the week and putting it against my budget. I can not help but think about you. You probably live off of $50 a week huh! Or just eat out all the time...either way it is cheaper than what I am spending! So lucky!
And OMG do you KNOW how lucky you are that you never had to buy me any diapers? I swear, I could have bought a new car with the money I have spent on diapers and pullups in my parental lifetime. I totally see why you can not pay child support! I spend so much on diapers and groceries, I can only imagine how much you spend on...whatever it is you spend your money on.
Do not even get me started on the milk. I bet a gallon of milk lasts a whole week at your house! I am so jealous! I have to buy one like every 2 days...that kid of ours...loves it!
You are so lucky. You get to go out and party with your friends, sleep all day stay up all night, live free. Here I am, all momming and stuff. I totally see why you wanted no part of this. GAH it is BRUTAL.
Have you ever had to cuddle a toddler at 2 am, while the kid is hot with a fever, because their nose was so stopped up they had to prop their head on you to breathe? It is so rough. Little bodies are like heaters. All cute and cuddling up against you, heating you up. All desperate, like I am the only thing that makes them feel better at that moment or something...only mommy. So adorable right?
What about bathing? Kids give you a whole new outlook on that. I am sure you take a long hot shower daily to get ready for your day of not giving a shit. Me? No. I maybe get 5 minutes in the shower, and at least 1 of them I am talking to a toddler through the shower curtain. When I finally get a kid in the bath, I have to give the kid a 20 point inspection to make sure the dirt is all gone. You would be so surprised the places children can hide dirt. Its disgusting really.
And let me tell you a little something about bed time. Have you ever tried to sleep with little people in your bed? All the random arms, legs, elbows, and drool everywhere. Terrible. The way they cuddle up to you and say "I love you...put your arm around me please...good night mommy"...Ugh the nerve. I totally see why you stay so far away from this.
Why would you ever want to be a part of this little world? It totally makes sense. I get why you would want to stay away and not be a father. I see why it is so hard to pay child support. I see why you do not want us in your life. This adorable, perfect, funny, smart, cuddly, amazing little person has a whole world and you want no part of it. How strange.
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