To the toxic friend...

I am so sorry. I am sorry I was not there when you needed me.  I am sorry you are in a place that makes you so sad.

Here, let me help you. Let me reach out my hand one more time...like I have time after time after time before this.  Let me get this for you...here stay with me...oh my, I am on my way...this is all I do with you.  We used to hang out, now I just help out.  You never call me to see how I am or just to chat.  You always need something.  Something is wrong.  Can I help you?

Of course. Don't I always?  All you have to do is call, right? I come running to help.  You cry and ask my opinion, I tell you.  You act like you hear me talking and my advice is getting through.

It isnt.  You crash on my couch after a fun night of listening to you cry about the same thing as last time.  You get up and head right back to the lifestyle that made you cry the night before.  I tell you its not the right idea and beg you not to.

I try to get you help.  I go out of my way, above and beyond, to help you.  I want you to be happy again.  I want you to have fun with me again.  I miss my friend... You are not her anymore.  You are just a user now.  You smile and thank me for my help then shit on it.

Now, after all I have done and said and tried to do for you, I give up.  I know it is pointless to try to help you, because you do not want to be saved.  Someone once said "Oscar lived in the trashcan, because he wanted to live in the trashcan.  They invited him out...at the end of the day...he still picked the trashcan. So he was a grouch because he lived in the trashcan...but he still picked the trash can."

You are my Oscar.  You want to stay in the trash can.  I keep cleaning you off and it is no use.  You say I do not understand.

You are right. I do not understand.  You know what I don't understand? How I am the bad guy now?  I do not want to do this anymore.  I am done.  I am no longer going to throw my time, money, and feelings into your black hole.  I have done more than my part in trying to fix your life, so I am tapping out.  Now you are mad and I am the bad friend? Why? You want to live in the trash can, so I am letting you.  I am not the one who has to smell like trash.